This kinda hurts. I want to show him to the world but I can’t.

I want him to show me but then I remember his video, of his fiancée eating and my heart shattered. Shattered into million pieces. If only the sound can be heard. The sound would be so loud, the building will be shaken

But who am I to say this. I am merely a beggar for his love. I know he never like me the I like him. It was not the same. He was just thinking that I can somehow give him comfort, can ease his lonely heart, can help him but other than that. I am just someone who is a transient shade to him.

He will never choose me, I hope he don’t. But having this kind of relationship is not healthy for me but why do I chase guys like this?

Why do I continue hurting myself?

Why do I have to go through this kind of hurtful love again?

I am so tired

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