when I think I fall for him. I wrote this so I can be firm with myself.
| Masjid Putra, Putrajaya |
" For the first time, I want someone to fall for the imperfect me.
The one who get scared easily.
The one who have a bad anxiety problem
The one who are reckless but always overthinking everything she did
The one who can’t sleep when there’s thunderstorms
The one who always broke down and cry everytime she’s overwhelmed
The one who do all those uncool thing
The one who always get into trouble
The one who is me everyday
Without no mask, no facade
Just me being me
Just once.
I wanna lay bare naked stripped from all those perfect illusions that I fed to people
I want him to love me despite my extra fat, dramatic quicks pale faces and disgusting habits
I want him to be able to love me despite misunderstanding
To love me
Just me
I want him to accept me as a whole
To be able to love me the way I love him
Loving each other imperfections
I want someone that won’t treat me like I’m second in his life
I am and always his first
Not an option
Not a spare
Not just someone he can leave behind when he’s done
I don’t want a flirtatious relationship
I want a real relationship
where I have someone I can rely to
Someone who can still accept me
Tolerate me love me feed me
even when things went horribly wrong
We will fight, we will hurt each other
We will face challenges and we may cry
but I will love you
My special someone
Now if only I can find him, then it’d be perfect "