The Retard Me
Bismillah.
Alhamdulillah. Masih bernyawa, masih diberi kesempatan untuk menulis. But enough with the so dramatic and often used opening sentence. I just want people to know that dspite I'm a healthy 21 years old to be, I'm mentally retarded.
LOL
so, I checked my email just now and now I feel that I'm a very retarded woman.
Remember the mission to Vietnam ? Well I didn't write the whole story YET because I'm still trying to calm my nerve and have a clear head. But I'm afraid I'll forget and mixed the story but I don't really feel to write anything do you feel me?
Enough with that. so SEE that picture ? Well my applications for the ASEF already been received by the ASEF people. HAPPY ? Damn I'm happy I can twerk right this moment. But at the same time I'm also having a veryyyyyyyyy critical moment here !
I know the result is not out yet and I'm really grateful if I can join ASEF because I missed the YSS to Vietnam. So the reason for my turmoil (lol) is I applied for a job as a substitute teacher and the result is not out yet, too. [ God, all this waiting really makes me a verryy mentally unstable woman] and I will have to teach for like 2 months, and I also found out that my last day would be is the second day of my third semester. Like LOL.
and so the clash would be because during I'm working [maybe] the ASEF will be held to. Like no I'm not confident if I'll get chosen for ASEF but I'm just thinking of the possibilities. You feel me here ?
But then, after I write all those stuff above I just get the feeling like none of this and that REALLY matter because both of the things I fuss about is still in the depth of the realm of magical world [not word, its not a typo] MAYBE. So maybe I'll get the job or maybe NOT, maybe I'm chosen or maybe NOT. Shesh.
[ I think when people said writing is good for your health, its true. HAHAHA. I do feel great and I can see things more clearly after I write them down]
BUT. .
I'm not that creative and talented, SO I guess I can safely ruled out the ASEF.
So here the main thing : THE TEACHING.
Okay, IF I do get the job, as mention earlier, my last day as a teacher would be the second day of my third semester. I will miss the FIRST FUCKING DAY. But it's not such a big deal. I'm just worried about my stuff that I put in the storage space at the hostel. I have A LOT of things and I saw what happen to those stuff that were claimed late cause I was like the second person to come to the hostel last semester.
Putting that aside, I also come across something really messed up and not to mention really fucked up for my ill and retarded brain.
I need to go back to university on 25 August cause I have to join a training program and some ice breaking stuff with the club I just joined this afternoon. IT HAS INTERVIEW ! [LOL] Yes it has I'm serious because they are looking for EXCO's not just a regular member hence the interview. But I still feel funny.
after that training week with the club [ oh please I'M DISCLOSING the name of the club until I safely joined them - FOR REAL ] I have another thing coming up.
THING = TRAINING
HELL FUCKING YEAH.
I need to attend the INTENSE training of MALAY DEBATE cause guess what ? At the end of the first week of the semester we got a competition called Debat Alam Sekitar for 4 days. According to the date released by the FB Page it will be held on 11-14 September and then three days after that we have the Piala Integriti (18-21 September) which I HAVE to participate because of my race [like WHOA]
So see my schedule ? The third semester is not yet started but I'm already busy as fuck and not mention I was reserved for Sabah & Sarawak Mission which will be held on the second or third week of September.
Ahh, I forgot. I need to do research and present in Parlimen Mahasiswa at the end of September.
And I have to help a club to get their official declaration from university.
I just lost track. So lets make a list
1. Paperwork Training & Ice Breaking for the EXCO's [ *held on 24-29 August]
2. Debat Training [*held on 1-6 September]
3. Debat Alam Sekitar [11-14 September]
4. Debat Integriti [ 18-21 September]
5. Parlimen Mahasiswa [*at the end of September]
6. Helping a club to get their official declaration
7. Sabah Sarawak Mission [ MAYBE ]
8. JLPT N5 Prep and Registration
*PROBABLY
lol. September will be hell if I don't get that teaching job. If I do get the teaching job, it will be double hell for me to catch up with everything I missed during teaching.
My retarded brain cant't take it anymore.
I'm going to sleep.
Good night fellow retard.
ps, tho I have sometimes a retard brain, I can understand Japanese and actually UNDERSTAND it. I just can't speak the language properly.
XOXO
Alia Lee
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