Bismillah.

Aku betul betul taktau nak terang macam mana. But here :

Q : Apa yang paling kau rindu setakat ni, semenjak start puasa ?

A: Aaaa. I miss my family the most, then my awesome sisters. I miss the food from Sandakan so much sometimes I really want to go back and ditch everything. Sejak start puasa ni, semalam baru first time aku makan nasi sebab kebetulan study dekat KFC. I buy the 8 ringgit set. Everytime buka posa, aku makan mee hoon without anything in it except halia dan kentang. Sahur pun begitu. Life has been hard since I'm going to go Vietnam and it needs expenses. So I really miss the 'berbuka puasa' theme food.

Q: Do you want to go back ?

A: Hmm, siapa yang dah hilang akal dan tengah merajuk dengan family ja yang tak nak balik Ramadhan dan Syawal ni. Tapi since aku dah nekad nak pergi sana. I will try my best to compress this homesick feeling. Hwaiting ~

Q: Life has been hard since you want to go to Vietnam. What's so hard about  it ?

A: At first it didn't look like its hard. I was so happy got chosen as one of  UTeM representative and I eagerly wait for the letter. But since the letter comes, its been constant battle with my head, heart and it really drained me.

Q: How so ?

A: Aaa, I need to make my passport and it requires money. But I already secure the money but what really hard is that I don't have transportation to go to KDN and the money I have left isnt much and I heard that the medical check up cost me 30 ringgit but right now I only have 120. 100 for passport and 20 is for my expenses. I want to ask for another 50 ringgit from my sister but she just sent me 50 ringgit this morning. The only left from that 50 ringgit is 20 ringgit cause I had to pay for the gas money, of a friend that I always went wherever together. So its really bugging me. I need money to go to hospital, and what left with me is not much. So its really sad.

Q: So your last paper is on tomorrow night ?

A: Yeah and I was planning on going to medical check up on 25th but I don"t have money and passport and medical check up result need to be sent to the admin by 26th so I was thinking about how can I survive this. Also, I need to go to Bangi as early as possible because I agreed to volunteer in a place and I don't have the bus fee and any money to spent.

Q: What is your feeling now ?

A: I feel like I want to rip the offer letter and pack my things and call my sister to take me home. 10 minutes more to buka puasa and I really don't have anything on my table. Not that I don't preapare anything but I can't just spent the money freely since I really need it. Its really pitiful of me and I wonder how my mother would react if she saw me in this poor state.

Q: Is there anything else ?

A: I don't really like the management here cause the letter(the source of turmoil) which should be received still hasn't been followed up so I'm a bit disappointed. They should do something about it but it seem that even the officer got angry saying that he doesn't receive any instruction. When I told him that I want to forward the email, he was like saying that he knows his jobs and said that the letter should be arrive from TOP to LOWEST level of management. I already offer him the letter and he was like no-no. He should receive it if he thought of other people misreable life.

Q: Do you feel misreable now ?

A: Yes. Really really misreable and pitiful. and litte stressed out.

Q: Any final words ?

A: I want to disappear into bubbles or maybe become a balloon and roam freely in this world.